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Hitched & Hitched Again: A Comedy of Marital Mayhem

Chapter 410
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Chapter 410 Elysia tilted her head back and chugged another pint.

After finishing, she plopped down onto the couch, her gaze blurry, not just full but dizzy too.

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Tarquin squinted his attractive eyes and asked her, "Can you handle more?" "Of course, I can! I'm the champ at this, you think you can getdrunk? No way! I... I can handle two more! No, three! Try me, go on, fetch more drinks!" After her declaration, her head drooped forward.

Her forehead knocked against the coffee table, jolting her awake.

She rubbed her forehead, whining like a toddler, "Ouch..." Tarquin felt a pang of sympathy, but her dazed expression just made him roll his eyes.

Just as he was about to speak, she suddenly turned, raised her hand, and slapped him, "Why'd you hit me?" Tarquin was speechless. Who's hitting whom? "I didn't hit you!" Elysia snapped back, "If you didn't hit me, why would it hurt?" "So, it hurts because I hit you?" "There's only us here, who else could've hit me?" "Couldn't you have bumped into something?" "That's impossible! I'm not dumb. It must've been you!" Tarquin was dumbfounded. Was this what they call 'playing the victim'? "I..." "Just so you know, I may look easy to push around, but I can get fierce!" She finished with a menacing grin, as if showing off how sharp her teeth were. Tarquin rolled his eyes again, Elysia smirked, "Scared, huh? I've got these two canines, sharpest you'll see!" Tarquin glanced at her small canines, reminded of the bite marks on his shoulder, and his expression softened a bit.

"Elysia, I want to ask you something." "Yeah, shoot!" "Are you really Elijah's mother?" "Yep." She replied without hesitation, almost proudly.

Tarquin's heartbeat quickened, "Then why won't you admit it?" "I did admit it, didn't you just ask me? And I admitted it." "When you're sober, you always deny it." "Sober? I'm perfectly sober now. Oh, I get it, you mean why won't I admit it in front of Elijah's dad, right?" "Exactly!" "Because..." Elysia looked around and gestured for Tarquin to ccloser, "Lean in, I'll tell you, but let's not let him hear. If he finds out, he'll throw a fit, he's got quite the temper!" Tarquin's lips twitched as he moved closer.

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Elysia whispered in his ear, conspiratorially low, "Because he's a dog." Tarquin darkened, "What do you mean?" "Just that, he's a dog, so I can't admit it!" Tarquin was puzzled, "What does admitting it have to do with being a dog?" "Of course, it's related! Since he's a dog, I can't admit it!"

Tarquin frowned and stared at her, suppressing his annoyance andm asked again, only to get the sΕΠ answer. Eventually, she even seemed annoyed with him,

"Can't you understand plain English? I've told you several times, Elijah's dad is a dog. She went on a rant, using every bit of slander she had learned over the years on him.

Tarquin, trying to hide his frustration, noted this wasn't going as planned. He hadn't extracted any useful information, only ending up being verbally bashed. "I just want a few strands of your hair, okay?" Tarquin interrupted her.

Elysia immediately hugged her head, "No way!" "Why not?" "Because Elijah's dad is a dog!" "I..." Tarquin was at a loss, "Even if he is a dog, what's that got to do with your hair?" "Because he's a dog, I can't give you my hair!" Tarquin's face turned a shade of steel, "Elysia, do you even hear yourself right now?" mmMwWLlilofiflo&1 mmMwWLlilofiflo&1 mmMwWLlilofiflo&1 mmMwWLlilofiflo&1 mmMwWLliIofifl0&1 mmMwWLlilofiflo&1