The Accidental Wife by Sara Islam

Chapter 145

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My head is about to explode. It hurts more with the slightest movement. | cannot even bring myself to open my

eyes. | let out a groan as | bury my head in the pillows. Memories of last night flood my mind and they're enough

to makewish | could disappear.

With all the power | have in me, | do my best to open my eyes. When | do so, | find a glass of water on my

nightstand. | push myself up and find two pills beside the glass of water.

Silas. He must be the one who has left them for me. | find myself remembering the t| took care of him when

he calledwhile being drunk at a party. Memories are easily coming back toand I'm not sure if they can

be considered a blessing or a curse now. | called Knox last night, but Silas showed up instead. I'm embarrassed

that he sawin that state. | always hear people say that when they wake up after getting drunk, they usually

don't remember anything, but I do. | remember a lot of things. It's like my memory is intensively active now.

He was so gentle withlast night.

Who am | kidding? Silas has always been gentle with me.

The way he played with my hair madethink of the memory | had of him at the team's house. When | first

remembered how he was withat the team's house, | thought | was hallucinating, but I did ask him about it

last night and he confirmed that my mind wasn't playing tricks on me.

Couldn't these memories have gotten back tosooner? Had | remembered earlier, | would have never let him

go.

| take the pills and force myself to get out of bed. | walk to the bathroom and slightly gasp when I look at my

reflection in the mirror. I'm still in my last night's clothes and my make-up is a mess. | look like death. Washing

my face is not enough to makefeel clean and refreshed. | need to take a shower. | take off into the cabin to

wash the traces of last night off.

my

clothes and get

| dry myself once | feel clean enough and wrap my body with a towel before heading back to my room. After

putting on Something comfy, | head to the living room, expecting Silas to be there. However, | don't find him.

He's nowhere to be found in the entire apartment. | should have expected that.

He probably felt sorry forand only said that he was going to stay to makefeel better. He has a girlfriend

now. Of course, he's not going to stay at my place. Am | the stupidest girl on earth? Did | actually believe that he

was going to stay the night? Drunkhad dreams, but they cannot cto life in my world of sobriety.

I walk to the kitchen and decide to make myself scoffee. | don't remember the last t| ate breakfast. My

breakfast now consists of coffee and nothing else. When I'm too hungry in the morning, | just eat an apple and

it's usually enough to fill my stomach. Just when I'm about to turn the coffee machine on, the door of my

apartment gets opened Hense, thinking of the worst, but my shoulders sag with relief when I see Silas. He has

cups of coffee with him along with two brown paper bags.

He hasn't actually left. He was just getting breakfast.

"You're awake," he says as he closes the door behind him.

"Yeah..." | look down, not knowing what I'm supposed to say. I'm embarrassed. | didn't want him to seein the

state / was in last night.

"I got us breakfast," he tells me, setting everything on the kitchen counter.

09:22 Mon, Oct 28

Chapter 145

Q

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"Thank you." | offer him a small smile as | reach for the cup of coffee. "I'm so sorry about last night. You shouldn't

have... | stop myself, fearing that | may make things worse if | say what | really want to say.

FD

"I shouldn't have what, Rosie? What new barrier do you plan on installing between us?" | suck in a breath when

he says that. "Why didn't you calllast night? Why did you call Knox?" His voice depict the pain he is in and |

hate being the reason behind that. "Silas, you're my ex. You're dating Maisie now. | don't want to ruin your

relationship with her," | tell him part of the truth. I'm not going to tell him that | can't stand being in the same

room as him without thinking how stupid | was when he was mine. I'm doing everything in my power to stop

myself from kissing him. I'm not strong enough to fight all the urges inside ofto try to win him back.

"Why do you seem to forget that I'm your friend too? Why am I just your ex now? Wasn't | your ex when you told

Everest that you weren't going to cut ties with me?" He remindsof what | said. He's making it hard for me

and | don't know how to get out of this situation. "It's different, Silas," | tell him, hoping he won't pressure me

into talking about this.

"Do you even wantin your life, Rosie?" His question makes it hard forto breathe. | do want him in my life,

but I shouldn't be in it.

"What | want isn't important anymore, Silas. | know it may seem impossible to believe this, but havingin

your life won't do you any good," | try to explain the situation to him.

"Enlighten me, please. Why shouldn't you be in my life?" he wonders, taking a seat.

"Because... I'm always going to hold you back from moving on," | say. It's so hard to prevent myself from crying.

"Don't you think I should be the judge of that? His eyes never dart away from me, causing my anxiety to

heighten.

"Silas, you need to believe that I'm the villain in your story. | don't know what kind of Stockholm syndrthis is,

but you need to letgo." A shaky breath comes out of my mouth as | stop talking.

"I won't let you go unless you tellyou don't wantin your life anymore," he declares, and | close my eyes

as | gulp. Is this what it takes to get him out of my life?

| don't want to tell him that, because | do want him in my life, but I'm aware that he will be better off without me.

"Fine, Silas." | take a shaky breath. "I don't want you in my life anymore," | blurt, and | swear, my heart has never

experienced this kind of pain anymore. The look he has on his face is full of agony and all | want is to run

towards him, take him in my arms and apologize for what | have put him through.

"Oh wow..." A sad smile appears on his lips, and | want to cry. | hurt him. Again. It seems like I'm now an expert

at hurting him. "I'm sorry for imposing myself on your life. | promise | won't get in contact with you again and if |

see you at any event, | will keep my distance." It's getting hard to breathe.

I don't want any of this, but I have to do it. | have to do this for his own sake. If | stay in his life, I'm going to bring

him more pain.

"Bye, Rosie," he says, getting up from his place. | want to prevent him from leaving. | want to apologize.

Once he walks out of my apartment, | break down as my body falls to the floor. Loud sobs escape my lips and as

I hug my knees close to my chest, | wonder if the pain | feel in my chest will ever go away.